Turnover Ain't Tasty

The dubious MD from the last post has resigned today. He went from our shitty middle-market bank to a marginally less shitty bank. Other departures in the past 2 weeks: The Head of Banking, 2 Analysts and 2 Associates. Don't you love bonus season? (I'm not talking to you, Mr. Bulge Bracket Bitch, go point your gold-tipped cane elsewhere. This is Middle Market Mafia turf, and what we lack in deal volume we more than make up for in angst.)
Needless to say I am now the only analyst in the SF office, so I hope more senior guys leave. Then I will have no work, as it stands, it's 2AM and my model still looks more like Hillary Duff than Hillary Swank.
In other words:
Fat, Clumsy and Stoopid-Lookin:

...instead of Slim, Sexy and Classy:

















(and might I add that that's quite the OAS, Ms. Swank. You could boost my alpha any day.)