The following is a truncated interpretation of the conference call with the CFO of a prospective bidder for a sell-side deal that led to the engagement being terminated:
Big Bidder: Hi there. We think your counteroffer is a joke. We have $70M in revenues and you have [dramatic pause] three. Basically, our valuation is right and yours is wrong. We’re throwing you a bone, so be a good little poodle and lap it up. Our original offer is final.
Our MD: Well actually our valuations are very close. We just need a little bit more to make the client happy.
BB: I’m sorry, did I stutter?
MD: Well, we’ve been very flexible and can bend backwards a little more – but if we are going to stick our head up our own ass you have to at least bend down to touch your toes.
BB: [long pause]
MD: Hello, are you there?
BB: Yeah… Umm, sorry – I just thought that I made myself quite clear.
MD: [beats off a dead horse for another 3 minutes]
BB: You know, we do have other targets that are cheaper and more exciting. Tell that to your client
MD: I’m not going to say that. That’s too negative. I’ll tell them something positive instead.
BB: (another pause)
MD: That’s cool. Just don’t say anything if you agree.
BB: No, I’ll say something. The deal is off. [Trump Style] You’re fired.
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