Stealing money from your friends for political advancement

John Edwards clearly learned something (besides poverty) at Fortress - life, like trading, is a zero sum game and someone always has to take a loss. In this case - his former colleagues.
Johnny was overheard saying from behind his modest ivory and platinum desk while lighting a handrolled Cuban with a $1000 bill - "Hey, it was either that or no more $400 clips, and I gotta look good for the campaign. The wifey aint gonna last past the primaries."

clipped from online.wsj.com Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards proposed increasing taxes on private-equity and hedge-fund managers in three ways [through extortion, pogroms and inquisitions] saying it would make the tax code more fair without damaging U.S. capital markets [it's not like those hedgies could just go public on the LSE and move themselves to London or Dubai]. Taken together, the former North Carolina senator asserted, these steps would raise [steal] $4 billion to $6 billion a year [that will fund a program to rid the world of sex slaves by buying the market and putting them into a safe compound adjacent to the White House]. Mr. Edwards, himself a former adviser to the hedge fund Fortress Investment Group, thus became the first major Democratic candidate to wade deeply into the controversy sparked by the explosive growth and profitability of hedge-fund and private-equity firms [because making money by improving failing companies is un-American - if you want to be a capitalist bastard go to China!]. While making amelioration of poverty a centerpiece of his campaign, the one-time trial lawyer earlier this year reported that he had received $1.7 million in salary and investment income from Fortress, where his holdings total $16 million [but not for long! Unexpected drawdowns are a bitch.] Mr. Edwards's stance could help shore up his populist credentials after criticism of his personal wealth and lifestyle have eroded his poll standings [surely you jest!].