Bear Market Brides

Trader Daily has this column about traders and their crazy relationships. This month they talk about the pitfalls of having your work stress spill over into your personal life. While I agree that you should make every effort to not project your problems onto your partner, there is one case where I feel the trader was faultless.

Another trader named Dave was in his late 20’s and was in a long distance relationship with a woman in South Florida. He would spend his earnings on flying her into NYC and for him to fly down to the sunny beaches of Miami every other week. He worked 8-hour days and dealt with the frustrations of trading within the very volatile natural gas sector. Never a dull moment. Everyday that he misinterpreted the direction that this sector would take, he feared that he
would lose his job. He was under great stress.

He recounted a time that his girlfriend called him at work to tell him about her tough day as an elementary school teacher. She told a dramatic tale about how stressful it was when her student named Billy skinned his knee during recess and she had to take him to the nurse with blood trickling from his leg. Dave felt completely detached from this story, not having the ability to empathize with her perceived job stress. He pretended to care about her story and quickly ended the phone call to go out for drinks with his buddies.

The fact is that unless your teacher girlfriend is at a school where the faculty has to wear bulletproof vests chances are she doesn't have anywhere near as much stress as you do. Trader "Dave" actually went above and beyond the call of duty by taking his girlfriend’s call during work and listening to her story with any interest, be it feigned or not.

I've found that for some women drama is a competition and they always want to have more of it than their partner. Every tale of woe you tell will be seen as a challenge, and if you ever have the gall to imply that her trifles aren’t serious prepare for nuclear war. Relationships with individuals in other high-stress professions is arguably the best way to have someone who understands your daily stress and also has the sort of issues you can empathize with. I recommend surgeons as they have the added perk of being good with their hands.