Sanford Shot Down

Yo...this be the realest shit you'll ever quote.

My president is black, my Lambo’s blue.
The economy is red, and he ain’t got a clue.
Got a white hustler, failing the Treasury.
Meanwhile Obama is vacationing leisurely.

Buying rocks for his baby-mama,
Dropping some dough.
While the world’s got drama,
He’s sipping Bordeaux.

Sanfrod spittin’ straight dope,
Trying to get through.
But how can we have hope
When there’s only one world-view?

Change you can believe in?
Why the rhetoric so thick then?
And if discourse is a sin,
Is it Democracy we're in?

clipped from www.google.com Sanford last week wrote Obama and asked for a waiver that would let the state pay down debt during the next two years with $700 million instead of using it to create jobs and avoid deep program cuts. The Obama administration has rejected South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford's request. The DNC is airing an ad in South Carolina that says Sanford is putting politics ahead of health care, jobs and schools by trying to turn down part of the federal stimulus money. The governor said in a statement it was "disturbing" the ad was launched before the White House had responded. Sanford said the ad is at odds with Obama's campaign promises of ending politics as usual. "It's in that spirit that I'd respectfully ask him to end this ad, as it shatters the idea of change he so well articulated this fall — and to ask his Democratic National Committee to put an end to this mudslinging and get back to an honest debate about the future of our country," Sanford said. But the future of that money may not even be for Sanford to decide. Last week, state Sen. Hugh Leatherman, a Republican, introduced a resolution that would allow the state legislators to spend the cash despite Sanford's opposition.

Portable Alpha

Here's a little diddy I wrote for my banker friend yesterday for his birthday. You may notice some similarities to a much parodied SNL sketch, but I assure it's pure coincidence.

Matt, I got something important to give you,
So mute that conference call and listen.

I know you’ve been jammin' such a long long time.
All the while your VP has been doing lines
But it's your birthday and my wallet's open wide.
Gonna give you something to forget the banker life.

Not gonna take you to a closing dinner,
You already know that you're a winner.
Not gonna get you a lucite toy,
That sorta gift is for little boys.
Not gonna put it in a pitch book,
Hitters like you don’t go for cheap hooks.
Won’t spread it out in a comp sheet,
You know those multiples don’t mean shit.
I want to get you something big and black,
Something that will give you a cataract.
Alpha in a box! My alpha in a box, Matt!

To all the traders out there with investors to impress
It's easy to do just follow these steps
1: Put some quants in a box
2: Put cash in that box
3: Never open the box
And that's the way you do it
Alpha in a box! My alpha in a box, bro!

Tenjune; alpha in a box
NYMEX Floor; alpha in a box
85 Broad; alpha in a box
Backstage at the SEC hearing - alpha in a box!

Hedge Fund Poetry

Not sure if anyone gets/likes these, but here's another one:

Luring pension plans
With a clever snare
Of high yield

Eroding counterparties' assets
Like acid rain on unsuspecting
Salted flesh

Before you yell "villain"
Remember the law of
Zero Sum.

Rejected Follow-on

Observe the white gloved line
Too clean to cut
The undervalued vagabond
Even as he begs to bleed

Poetry in Money

One of my all-time-favorite idiot savants (a literature professor at my alma mater) once said, mockingly, that there is “no money in poetry, no poetry in money.” I contested then, and will prove through my writings in this blog, that the latter point especially is false. My style tends to be fairly laconic so don’t expect (or fear) having to sift through Evgeni Onegin. For future reference I’ll label all of my poetry of money posts as pomo.

Sacked Religious

Under the shadow
Of the Silver Seraph's wings
I walk on water
That turns to pinot noir

Jesus was overrated
Said St. Peter
When I bought out Heaven